Eventually word of the imagined messiah reached corrupt businessmen in Rome, the equivalent of today's Mafia. This criminal fraternity saw an opportunity to seize power and make money. They employed four scribes (since named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) to cobble together stories of messiahs and deities favored by other nations. The result was Yeshu (Jesus), a mongrel cross between Bacchus, Apollo, Prometheus and Mithra, bolted together then pasted onto Saul's illiterate and mentally deranged Essene whose circumcision had gone horribly wrong resulting in a septic wound where his genitals had once been.

Born of a virgin then threatened by a despotic king, this Frankenstein christ brought corpses back to life, walked on water, was betrayed, crucified, resurrected and sucked up to heaven to be reunited with its grotesque father. In other words, the standard traditional messianic fare.

The Gnostics, the Essenes and other "heretics" vanished, e.g. slaughtered by the crime syndicate to prevent alternative ideas spreading. The misogynist raver Saul was posthumously awarded the preposterous title of "Saint" Paul, but was quickly replaced as head honcho by Peter. Paul stood in the way of progress because he agreed with the Essenes that man could communicate directly with "god" without recourse to priests and other holy charlatans. This was no good to the brotherhood which had to convince people of the need for "holy" go-betweens. There was also the question of Hebrew exclusivity – Jesus' obsession with Jewish supremacy – not a good look if the cult was to expand.

Peter, a Roman thug, was a more practical man, he agreed that middlemen were required to connect people with "god". He also agreed that despite saying "I come only for the lost sheep of Israel" and forbidding his disciples to mix with gentiles, Jesus loved gentiles, not Jews. Thus Peter ignored Saul's phantom messiah and immediately set about winning converts for the new corporation, murdering anyone who refused to hand over their wealth and other worldly goods. Or as the bible so cutely puts it, "they gave up their ghosts."

Calling itself by now, the Universal (or Catholic) Church, the crime syndicate embarked on a program aimed at convincing people to abandon their pagan beliefs and embrace the new, you-beaut, fabricated religion. To achieve this they had to strike terror into the hearts of their intended victims so they depicted the nature gods, which had served the public well for thousands of years, as devils.

Hermes, Lucifer and Satan, innocuous little deities, were portrayed as the Gods of Darkness and Evil. Before long the three deities merged, and Satan, complete with horns and pointy tail, became the embodiment of evil. The Church said to people, "Either worship Jesus Christ or burn in hell!" It worked like a charm, and to this day almost two billion simpletons suffer the tyranny of this illusion.

Religious tradition claims that the Emperor Constantine glimpsed a 'pax' symbol in the sky assuring him that were he to worship "christ" he would more easily conquer his enemies, so he gave it a go. Constantine slaughtered thousands of bad chappies and then made a big show of converting to christianity. He took control of this prosperous new religion, tidied it up, changed the sabbath from Saturday to Sunday to appease the sun (Sol Invictus) worshippers, insisted that "god" and Jesus were one and the same, pronounced a mother of five a virgin, then murdered his own wife and son when they became a nuisance. Thousands of his subjects, dissidents, were either murdered or driven into the desert to die. Christianity was now well and truly established.

At the Council of Nicaea in 325 CE (christian era), 82 manuscripts were 'voted' the "Word of God" and bound together in one volume and called the Holy Bible. Countless other manuscripts were trashed for one reason or another and most are lost to us forever. Constantine interpolated (forged and inserted) a sentence into the book of Matthew which had Jesus saying to Peter, "thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it," which was pretty bold of Constantine considering that there was no such thing as a church in Jesus' time, but he figured, rightly so, that people would link Peter the thug to Simon Peter the disciple. There were objections to this outrage but objectors quickly found themselves treading sand. And so a brutal murdering thug became "Saint Peter", a fitting symbol for the Catholic Church.

Some years later another contentious issue was decided by priestly vote – Are women human? The result – nine "yes", eight "no" – meant that women could not be hunted and killed for meat. They were in fact human, but only just.

As Constantine's empire crumbled, power reverted to Rome. The head honcho, now calling himself a "pope", busied himself taking care of business. He and his successors concentrated on murdering heretics, amassing wealth, wallowing in luxury and grovelling in cesspits of vice and fornication. Christianity had by now veered a long way from the path of humility, abstinence, denial and compassion, preached (though erratically practiced) by Jesus.

Now seemed a good time to pervert another of Jesus' teachings, namely "Do not pray in public as the hypocrites do, pray instead to thy father in private." The gangster church knew that for maximum control over the population it needed people to regularly attend "holy mass" in direct opposition to Jesus' wishes. But seeing as it had corrupted and perverted everything else the early christian followers stood for, the church saw no reason to be sentimental over this, the last one standing.

Despite the demise of Byzantium, the city (since named Constantinople) remained home to many "Orthodox" Christians who refused to pay homage to Rome and its perverted style of Christianity which they perceived to be the antithesis of the original concept. Not that the original concept was much cop but at least it was Coptic. The Orthodox Christians crowned their own pope and they remain a thorn in the side of the Vatican to this day.

With the rise in the 7th century of Islam, most of the middle east came under Muslim control. Christians were not impressed. In 1095 the blood-drinking cannibal and pedophile, Pope Urban 2nd decided it was time to drive the Muslims out of Jerusalem, so he sent the first wave of christian mercenaries into the so-called "holy land" to slaughter as many people as possible. His armies were very successful. They boasted of battles where their horses were knee deep in the blood of the infidels. They weren't too fussy who they killed – Jews, Christians, Muslims – if it breathed it was fair game. Children were raped and stabbed for Jesus.

The Crusaders liked the joint so they built several European style castles and set up home along the Mediterranean coast. But oddly enough the Muslims resented their presence. Eventually the Crusaders were driven out of Jerusalem by a Muslim warrior known as Saladin. The pope was ropeable! He sent another army. And yet another army. And still more armies. One army was led by a "divine" goose! The carnage went on for a couple of hundred years but eventually the Crusades fizzled out and the Vatican turned its wrath onto Europe instead.

In 1231, Pope Gregory 9th decided it was time to completely eliminate heresy. He formed a bureau of secret police called The Inquisition. Its job was to convert or kill disbelievers. It achieved this by the liberal use of rope, flame, thumb screws, eye gouges, red-hot pincers and pokers, and "divine" clamps for ripping off women's breasts and men's genitals. This reign of terror continued unabated until 1478 when Pope Sixtus 4th, dissatisfied with the body count, assembled an entire army of cutthroats and torturers and turned it loose on the citizens of Europe. This was the Spanish Inquisition.

In the 14th century a rival church established itself in France which treated women as equals. Based largely on the 'Gnostic' tradition it allowed women to own land and property and it encouraged them to take the holy vows and preach. Known as the Cathars, this progressive (in some ways) sect presented a powerful threat to the Catholic Church, so the pope ordered its destruction. The inhabitants of an entire region in the south of France were either put to the sword or burned to death. Not so much as one infant was spared.

Over the centuries millions of men, women and children were tortured and murdered by the Pope's evil army of butchers. Anyone who challenged the Church's authority, or even looked like they might challenge its authority, was gouged, crushed, hanged, burned or drowned. No atrocity was too severe for this cruel and abominable bureau. Europe became a fearful and dreadful place to live.

The Inquisition's reign of terror officially lasted six hundred and three years – till 1834 – in fact, the last "witch" known to be hanged by the Catholic Church was in Mexico in 1913 (I said "known"). Eventually though, the Catholic Church was faced with an enemy even more effective than its armies of torturers and executioners. It was called a printing press. Educated men started publishing documents challenging the church's authority and many paid the inevitable price. Copernicus even questioned the validity of the bible itself and was severely dealt with. Galileo published similar observations but was forced under threat of death to recant.

But despite this, heretics and freethinkers did write and were heard. Over the centuries the Catholic Church had done everything possible to suppress learning and block intellectual progress but now the floodgates were open and the culture of superstition and ignorance was under attack.

Two successful challenges to the Catholic Church took place in Europe, one led by Martin Luther in Germany – the first heretic to recognize the full potential of the printing press – another led by the monstrous King Henry the Eighth of England. The 'Protestant' movement was born, and news of the less structured form of worship quickly spread throughout christendom. The pope's thugs reacted with typical savagery and the result was that millions of people throughout Europe died in numerous "holy" wars.

But despite Rome's best and most murderous efforts, eventually the Protestant movement was established and the Catholic Church was forced to abandon its more diabolical and extreme forms of punishment. The "gates of hell" had finally prevailed upon the rock.

King James 1st of England employed 47 scholars to study the bible and to report any inconsistencies. They discovered that the bible was consistently inconsistent and recommended that 16 books be expunged. Their advice was accepted and the King James Authorized Version of the bible became numero uno. Catholics, however, clung to the older version (the Douay Bible) with 82 books. Strangely, the book of Thomas, brother of the alleged Jesus, has never been included in either bible, probably because it depicts Jesus as a deranged and bitter man. Less strange is the omission of the passage from the Second Gospel of Mark which tells of Jesus spending the night in a cave with a naked youth, teaching him "divine spiritual truths". Catholic priests tend to share it with certain "privileged" youths but it isn't something that's widely gazetted.

The "holy" wars continued for another two hundred years, culminating in the Saint Bartholomews Day Massacre when French Catholics went on a frenzied rampage of bloodletting and slit the throats of hundreds of Protestant families while they slept. Eventually though the religious wars abated and a grudging peace settled on most of Europe. The past lives on in countries like Ireland and (former) Yugoslavia where Catholics and Protestants still hate each other with a vengeance. As recently as 1942, Croatian Catholics were decapitating anyone, irrespective of age, who refused to convert to "the one true faith". Throughout the war the pope remained silent as millions of heretics, called Jews, were sent to concentration camps by Nazis loyal both to Hitler and to the Catholic or Lutheran Church.

To this day, not Hitler nor one Nazi monster has been excommunicated by the pope. Far from it, in 1999, Cardinal Stepinac, a Croatian 'Ustashi' (secret police) murderer, was posthumously beatified (towards sainthood) by Pope John Paul 2nd.

Even so, the glory days of blood and burning flesh are over. The Catholic Church now has to rely on psychological terror to enslave its victims. Anyone who resists the evil brotherhood risks being excommunicated and pitched into the "fires of hell".

This diabolical method of mind control has been applied and perfected over a period of two millennia; seize control of children while they're young and susceptible to programming, sodomize their brains with revolting stories of fire, torment, devils and suffering. Pollute them with horror, corrupt them with lies, then offer them salvation provided they remain loyal to the Church and its teachings.

Using terror and applied violence the Catholic Church has, over the centuries, amassed a vast fortune in stolen money and property. More recently it has advanced into real estate speculation and the stock market. The Catholic Church pays no tax yet it is the wealthiest business corporation in the world today. Less than nought-point-one per cent of its staggering wealth is used for charitable works, and this only to fool its followers into believing that it "cares". The truth is that the Catholic Church cares only for wealth and power. Always has. Always will. It remains the brotherhood of evil, the cruellest, most decadent and disgusting institution on planet Earth.

The Christian religion is the religion of hell and as such it is an abomination to any true God that there might be. And if there is such a place as "hell" be certain that it is reserved for those who deliberately spread the disease known as Christianity.


Built on a myth
based on an imbecile
promoted by a misogynist
adopted by criminals
adapted by forgerers
embellished by fraudsters,
formalized by a murderer
enforced by torturers
split by an executioner
salvaged by gangsters
claimed by big business
marketed as the Divine Truth
– Christianity

Darwin Copernicus

Back to Devils Advocate
Back to Razzamatazz

Copyright © 2001 OzPagan. All Rights Reserved